Have you ever noticed how much mental space food can take up?
The constant chatter—what to eat, what not to eat, whether you’ve done “enough,” and the guilt when you haven’t. For many people, this food noise feels endless. And yet, the solution isn’t more rules, more willpower, or another “reset.”
The real shift comes when food isn’t the center of your thoughts anymore. When your choices feel natural, not forced. And that shift only happens when your identity changes—not just your behaviors.
The Client Who Became an Athlete (But Didn’t See Herself That Way)
Years ago, I worked with a woman who had struggled with obesity. She decided to train for a triathlon, partly to lose weight but also to feel healthier and more confident. And it worked. She was training hard, eating better, and seeing her body transform. Her self-esteem grew. Her strength improved.
From the outside, it looked like success. But then, almost out of nowhere, she would backslide—turning to emotional eating or losing momentum just as things were going well.
When we talked, she admitted something that explained so much: she didn’t see herself as an athlete. Even though she was swimming, biking, and running, she still identified as “the fat person.” Her words, not mine.
And that identity conflict was powerful. Progress made her more visible, which made her feel more vulnerable. Instead of fueling confidence, her success triggered resistance. She wasn’t sabotaging herself because she lacked willpower—she was living in one story outwardly while clinging to another inwardly.
Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer
This was a turning point in my career. I realized that lasting change doesn’t come from gritting your teeth and muscling through cravings. It comes when your self-image shifts.
When you believe “I’m an athlete” or “I’m someone who cares for my health,” your actions flow naturally from that belief. You’re no longer fighting yourself. But when your inner identity doesn’t match your actions, no amount of willpower will hold.
When Progress Sparks the First Glimmer
For many people, identity doesn’t shift first—it begins once progress shows up. You notice your body getting stronger, or you hit a milestone you never thought possible, and suddenly you glimpse a new version of yourself.
Sometimes that vision sticks. Sometimes it fades. The difference often comes down to whether you take the time to pause and reflect: Who do I want to be? Can I start to see myself as someone different, even if it feels far away?
At first, it might feel impossible. Maybe your environment or relationships reinforce the old identity. Maybe the thought of change feels uncomfortable. But even recognizing that resistance is valuable—it shows you where the work needs to begin.
Training the Mental Muscle
Like building strength in the gym, nurturing a new self-image takes practice. You start small. Maybe you picture yourself running a 5K, or imagine walking into a room feeling confident in your body. At first it feels awkward. But over time, the more you hold that vision, the more it becomes believable.
And as you repeat it, your actions begin to align. Progress reinforces belief, and belief fuels more progress. That’s how the cycle shifts—from food being the fight to identity becoming the anchor.
What I’ve Learned as a Dietitian
Looking back, that client taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my career: food struggles are rarely about food. They’re about identity, personality, resilience, and readiness.
Some people grab hold of that new vision and never let go. Others wrestle with setbacks, trauma, or environments that keep pulling them back. Each person’s journey is unique, shaped by their history, their support system, and even their temperament.
My job as a dietitian isn’t just to hand someone a meal plan. It’s to help them uncover which story they’re living in—and whether that story is holding them back. Sometimes that means reframing setbacks. Sometimes it means building readiness. And often, it means helping someone see a version of themselves they’ve never considered before.
That’s the work I love most. Not just changing behaviors, but helping people step into a new identity—one that finally feels effortless, sustainable, and real.
